Transform urself

In this era of science and technology, we can be creative and productive, and at the same time not lose the humanness that we are all born with. Just material things or comfort alone do not make you comfortable. You may have a good bed to sleep on, but unable to sleep because of insomnia or worry! You need to get a broad understanding about yourself and your priorities.

Clarity in the mind makes things much easier-understanding your basic emotions like love, your interaction with people around you, knowing about your ego or what your intellect or mind is saying to you and introspection will give you a few minutes of relaxation which is very vital. So, what is most important is introspection about one's own life and how to improve the quality of life-this intention itself will open many doors for you to feel better about yourself. First of all, find out for yourself whether you are healthy.

Health is...


A disease-free body.
A quiver-free breath.

A stress-free mind.

An inhibition-free intellect.

An obsession-free memory.

An ego that includes all.

A soul that is free from sorrow.

Have you ever thought what is the purpose of your life? What is the meaning of life? What is life all about? These questions are very, very precious. When these questions dawn in your mind, only then your life begins! But, when these questions come into your mind, don't be in a hurry to get an answer. Those who know will not tell you and those who tell don't know! You can plug your ears and walk off! These questions are the tools by which you can dig deeper and the answers come from within you. Once these questions come into your life then you start "living" life rather than just existing. To know for what you are in this planet, find out what you are not here for!

You are not here to be sad.

You are not here to blame.

You are not here to be miserable.

You are not here to worry.

You are not here to show off.

You are not here to get stressed out.

You are not here to get irritated and irritate others.

The list goes on.

All our struggles in life are to know more. You are trying your level-best to understand your feelings and emotions, and you get into more and more and more confusion. This is what has Happened with psychology today. It tries to explain to you why you feel like the way you are feeling. The ''why'' arises always when you are unhappy. You ask ''Why this problem to me of all the people?'' Nobody ever asked, ''Why am I so happy?'' You want to understand, ''why am I not feeling good?'' or ''why am I angry?'', or ''why is this not happening?'' The more you try to understand and try to dig it, you seem to understand less and less. The mystery deepens, but an illusion comes as though ''I know it''. But that is for a short while. We ourselves do not know and we try to explain to others! Stop your explanations; your explanations have put you into a soup and make other people also more confused. You don't know what is happening in your mind. Mind is like a roller coaster-it's a crowd. Just be in the simple and innocent state of ''I don't know!''.

This life is a mystery-beautiful-live it. Living the mystery of life so totally is joy. Becoming the mystery is divine. You are a mystery! When you see life in this context, clarity dawns in your mind and your life improves.

1 Review the context of your life

Look at your own life in the light of time. Millions of years have passed and millions will come. What is your life? 60, 70 or 100 years? Span of life is insignificant. It is not even a drop in the ocean. In terms of space you simply don't exist! This understanding dissolves the ego. Ego is ignorance of your reality, ignorance of your existence. Now, just to know this, do we have to do something else? Just open your eyes: ''Who am I? How I am on this planet? What is my life time?'' Awareness dawns in the mind, and you will stop worrying about little things like, ''this person said this thing to me and that person broke away with me and this happened with that person and I am going to say this....'' All smallness will simply drop away, and you will be able to live every moment of your life.

Your life reels around your context. You should be happy in life. All other businesses involve ups and downs which is very natural. If there is a body, then it will get cold, cough, fever or something else and it will go away. But take care to see that happiness is always established in you. That is known as purashaartha. Our love, faith and belief should be deep-rooted, then everything else moves on its own. How many events take place in life! Are you able to maintain your equanimity always?

Not everything in the world is sweet. If you are grounded with faith, like the husk with grain, you will progress. Take this decision: "Whatever happens I will be there. I will be grounded. God's protection is there on me. Whatever happens, I will never go down. I always have God's hand with me." Keep your mind in peace in all situations. The rest will be taken care of. You have to take at least one step forward, which is to be in peace and equanimity. "Oh! Nothing happened. Nothing of my work happened." If you are able to laugh in such a situation, then understand that you have protection with you! The world isfilled with love.

Everybody has love inside them. You have to see that in your mind. Your head will be in the mud in a few years; don't put mud in your head while you are still alive! If you review the context of your life, the quality of your life will improve.

2 Know life's impermanence

See the impermanence in this life. That is the truth. Turn back and see that all that you did is like a dream. All have passed, the whole thing is finished. Tomorrow will pass. Now and then, a pinch of unpleasantness comes. It makes you aware of your pleasantness.

Suppose you never had unpleasant moments in life, you would never have pleasant ones. Your life would stagnate in utter boredom and you would become like a stone. So, in order to keep you alive, now and then, here and there, nature gives you a little pinch. It makes life more lively. Accept it.

You don't have to be afraid in life. There is always support. So, every pinch that you are having in life is for the best, to make your life more lively and enjoyable. Day and night you work so hard. The whole week is spent working, coming home tired, eating, going to bed. The same routine the next day. Weekends have become another routine. If you're awake, then you see there is so much foolishness! Just watch when four or five people get together and have a gossip session. In a gossip session, you can immediately change the topic of conversation. This is the thing with a crowd. If ten people are talking about the weather and you change the topic to stock markets, everybody will immediately talk stock markets, whether they know about them or not. It is great fun.

Being aware of this impermanent nature of our life, you find that there is something in you that has not changed. There is a reference point by which you can say things are changing. That reference point is the source of life. That is wisdom. With wisdom, your life improves.

3 Make your smile cheaper

A research done in England found that a baby smiles 400 times a day, an adolescent 17 times and an adult doesn't smile at all! The more successful one keeps a very stiff face. Is roughness a sign of success? Is being stressed a sign of prosperity, growth or dignity? You should smile more. Every day, every morning, look at the mirror and give a good smile to yourself. You know what happens when you smile? All the muscles in your face get relaxed. The nerves in your brain get relaxation, and you get the confidence, courage and energy to move on in life.

You know, your smile is so fragile! Just one telephone call is enough to take it away! But what is the big deal about your feelings? Bundle them up and throw them into the ocean! Once you are rid of your 'feelings' you can be happy. Just see why your spirits go down? Because somebody said something stupid to you. And why did they say a stupid thing? Because they had some garbage they needed to throw out and you were there, ready to catch it! And once you have caught it, you hold on to it so passionately! Come on! Wake up! Don't let your smile be snatched away by anybody!

Usually, you give your anger freely and smile rarely as though a smile is costly. In ignorance, anger is cheaper and smile costly. In knowledge, a smile is free like sun, air, and water and anger is extremely expensive, like a diamond. Make your smile cheaper and anger expensive! You are here for a greater cause. Just remember that. Take a challenge: "Come what may, I am going to smile today and be happy!" Smile more.

4 Be enthusiastic and praise others

Enthusiasm is the nature of life. We often have a tendency to put cold water on other's enthusiasm. Reverse this tendency. Take every opportunity to praise others and support their enthusiasm. If you put down other's enthusiasm, the same may happen to you. As you sow, so shall you reap. Recollect how much enthusiasm and joy you had when you went to the primary school. Someone without enthusiasm is like a corpse. But as you mature, the enthusiasm curve declines. As enthusiasm declines, we stop communicating.

How would you like to see yourself ? Happy and bubbling with enthusiasm or dull and difficult to please? Often, you like to be pleased, appeased and cajoled. So you put up a tough, upset face and act difficult to please. If a person has to appease and please ten people all the time, it will be so tiring. People who keep a long face and expect others to cajole and appease them make others run away. Lovers often do this. They expend a lot of energy in cajoling, and this brings down the joy and celebration of the moment.

If you feel down, appease and please yourself. Your need to be appeased by someone else is the sign of grossness. If you want attention, all you get is tension. It is not possible to attain Divine Love with a complaining face. Become one whose enthusiasm never dies.

5 Make meditation a part of your life

The higher goals in life can only be realised through a few minutes of meditation and introspection. What is meditation?

Mind without agitation is meditation.

Mind in the present moment is meditation.

Mind that has no hesitation, no anticipation is meditation.

Mind that has come back home, to the source, is meditation.

Mind that becomes "no mind" is meditation.

Deeper you are able to rest, dynamic you will be in activity. Even though deep rest and dynamic activity are opposite values, they are complementary. Before the body leaves you, you learn to leave everything. That is freedom. What are you looking for? Are you looking for some great joy? YOU ARE JOY!

I will give you an example. Have you seen dogs biting bones? You know why they bite bones? Biting wounds their mouth. Its own blood comes out and the dog feels that the bone is very tasty! Poor dog spends the whole time chewing the bone but getting nothing out of it! Any joy you experience in life is from the depth of your self, when you let go all that you hold on to and settle down being centered in that space. That is called meditation. Actually, meditation is not an act; it is the art of doing nothing! The rest in meditation is deeper than the deepest sleep that you can ever have because in meditation youtranscend all desires.

Meditation is letting go of anger from the past and all the planning for the future. Meditation is accepting this moment and living every moment totally with depth. Just this understanding, and a few days of continuous practice of meditation can change the quality of our life. The best comparison of the three states of consciousness-waking, sleeping and dreaming-is with the nature. Nature sleeps, awakes and dreams! It happens in a magnificent scale in existence, and it is happening in a different scale in the human body. Wakefulness and sleep are like sunrise and darkness. Dream is like the twilight in between.

And meditation is like the flight to the outer space, where there is no sunset, no sunrise, nothing! I am sure that deep within, every one of you feel that you have not grown, meaning you have not changed, not grown old. This indicates the soul in you, the depth in you, the spirit in you doesn't change, doesn't grow old, it's not aging. The body is aging but something in you is not aging. Getting in touch with that something that doesn't age brings beauty in life. That is meditation.

IF and WHEN

A wonderful story I received through pravsworld groups.

IF and WHEN IF and WHEN were friends. Every week they met and had lunch. Their conversation usually centered on all the things they were going to achieve. They both had many dreams and they loved to talk about them.

This particular Saturday when they met, WHEN sensed that IF was not in a great mood. As usual they sat at the table reserved for them and ordered their lunch.

Once they placed their order, WHEN questioned IF. "IF what is wrong with you? You don't seem your usual cheery self?"

IF looked at WHEN and replied, "I'm not sure, I just don't feel like I am making any progress. This last week I saw a course I wanted to take if only I had the time to take it." WHEN knew exactly how IF felt.

"Yeah," replied WHEN, "I too saw a course and I am going to register when I get enough money together."

WHEN then said, "well what about that new job you were going to apply for. You were so excited about it last week, did you apply?"

IF responded, "If my computer didn't break down last week, I would have applied. But, my computer is not working, so I could not type my resume."

"Don't worry about it IF, when you are ready another job will come through. I have been thinking about looking for another job also, but I will wait and when the weather gets nicer I will look then."

WHEN then went on to tell IF about his week, hoping that it would cheer him up a bit.

The man at the next table couldn't help overhear WHEN and IF. They both were talking about when this and if that, finally he couldn't take it anymore.

"Excuse me gentlemen," the man said. IF and WHEN both looked at the man and wondered what he wanted. The man continued, "I'm sorry, but I couldn't help hearing your conversation. I think I know how you could solve your problems." IF smiled and thought, how could a complete stranger know how to solve all of their problems. If only he knew. When he realized the challenges they faced there was no way he could solve their problems!

Curious, IF asked the gentleman, "How do you think you can solve our problems?" The gentleman smiled and said, "You only need listen to yourselves.

It reminds me of an old proverb: 'If and When were planted, and Nothing grew'." IF and WHEN looked puzzled. The gentleman smiled and said, "Start counting how many times you use the words 'if' and 'when'. Rather than thinking 'if and when', start doing, take action, stop talking about 'if and when'."

IF and WHEN both looked surprised, and suddenly realized that what the gentleman had said was so true. Both of them were guilty of thinking, acting and living their life for the "ifs and whens". The gentleman left and IF and WHEN's conversation changed. They made a pact that when they met for lunch next week, there would be no "ifs and whens"; they would only talk about what they accomplished.

Peace........................

There once was a King who offered a prize to the artist who would paint the best picture of peace. Many artists tried. The King looked at all the pictures, but there were only two he really liked and he had to choose between them.
One picture was of a calm lake. The lake was a perfect mirror, for peaceful towering mountains were all around it. Overhead was a blue sky with fluffy white clouds. All who saw this picture thought that it was a perfect picture of peace.
The other picture had mountains, too. But these were rugged and bare. Above was an angry sky from which rain fell and in which lightening played. Down the side of the mountain tumbled a foaming waterfall. This did not look peaceful at all. But when the King looked, he saw behind the waterfall a tiny bush growing in a crack in the rock. In the bush a mother bird had built her nest. There, in the midst of the rush of angry water, sat the mother bird on her nest… perfect peace.

Which picture do you think won the prize?

The King chose the second picture. Do you know why?

Because, as explained by the King: "peace does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble, or hard work. Peace means to be in the midst of all those things and still be calm in your heart. That is the real meaning of peace."

As said by King, the real peace exists only when u can win the situations that are packed with hindrances and pain.Adding to the above, the real success is that success when u achieve out of hard work and struggle.So that you can rose again very easily if u fall from that peak.

THINK TWICE

A few days back I was watching television when I came upon an interesting program that provoked an inspirational issue. The program portrayed how people not only make a difference in their own lives but also impact others. One of the stories really grew on me, and I would like to share the story from the viewpoint of the man who had recited his experience on television. "A few years back I was thrown off track from so called usual life schedule. I burned my hands in an accident and the doctors did not have any other options but to amputate my hands a little above the wrists. I did not know what to do after that; it seemed like there was nothing much else I could do. Life seemed immovable. I had a family, which made my disability seem devastatingly greater, depressing me even more. I really wanted to do something because I did not want to just waste my life away due to a disability. If mental disabilities do not stop the handicapped from participating in the world renowned events such as the Olympics, then I also had enough a chance to bring my life back on track. I had an option of going out on the streets and begging for money like so many other people in our countries, but that didn't seem something I would ever try. I felt like GOD would help me out if I really thought about the alternatives. Then, one day, I decided to open a little shop in one of the malls in Lahore, Pakistan. I now make sugarcane juice and sell it, earning enough to support my family and also invest in my kids' future. Some people are really nice and pay me more than what a glass of sugarcane juice, on average, costs. Sometimes, it's humiliating for I am a self made man, but the well-wishers say it's not because they feel bad for me, but it's because they want to share and appreciate my courage and decision of working under such conditions whereas many other people in the same situation would have given up on life.

Today, I am happy with my life and just would like to say: please do not let small things come in your way of success. Life is too precious to waste on things out of our control. I request that you do not wait for things to happen, or think of lowly ways of living such as begging on the streets. Ask GOD and HE will help you out. Live life on a true will with determination and faith in GOD."

This story reminds me of something I heard a while back.
"When GOD closes one door on you, HE opens ten others. But being human and having this human nature we tend to look at the closed door for so long that we miss out on the ten doors that were open."

Many of us are proud of who we are and what we have. Subsequently and contradictorily, we take so many things for granted, that we forget THE GIVER. Do not forget the invisible Hand and its Owner that guides you through your struggles.

"Do not look at the line of your palm and swell with pride or arrogance, Those who do not have hands possess destinies as well".

Ten Tips for Taming Your Tongue

Follow these links or scroll down through each page to learn how to tame your tongue.

Your language might offend some people, but the tone and attitude behind your words do far greater damage to all of your relationships.Even if your friends and associates commonly use cuss words, you will be perceived as more mature, intelligent, articulate, polite, considerate and pleasant if you control your language and the emotions that typically prompt expletives. You can choose to have character and class, or be considered rude, crude and crass.Cursing is sometimes humorous, but sometimes abusive. It can help vent anger, or provoke it. It can relieve stress, or cause it. It can be clever and flirtatious, or sexist and intimidating. Consequently, be aware of when and where you swear. Control it, tame it, time it. Or, to be on the safe side, stop using it altogether.

1. Recognize that swearing does damage.You probably swear because it is easy, fun, candid, emphatic, expressive, breaks rules, and somehow partially reduces anger and pain. But the negatives outweigh the positives. You really don't win an argument by swearing. You don't prove that you are smart or articulate. You don't earn respect or admiration. You don't motivate, you intimidate. Swearing doesn't get you hired, promoted, or romantically connected.

2. Start by eliminating casual swearing.Pretend that your sweet little grandmother or your young daughter is always next to you. Use inflections for emphasis instead of offensive adjectives. Be more descriptive instead of using the "s" word to describe everything from objects, work and the weather to the way you feel, the way someone looks, and the way something smells.

3. Think positively.Look to the bright side. Develop a "can do" attitude. Worry only to the point that motivates you to prepare for the problem, then hope for the best. A positive mental attitude not only eliminates lots of swearing, it brings you contentment and brightens your personality.

4. Practice being patient.When you are stuck in line or in traffic, ask yourself if a few more minutes matters. Be honest -- does it really matter? If so, and you have no control of the situation, plan the rest of your day or do the thinking that you say you never have time to do. Talk to someone, even a stranger in line with you.

5. Cope, don't cuss.We live in an imperfect world, yet our expectations continually increase. Each day can be filled with aggravations, delays, disappointments and frustrations. The fact is, we have to deal with them anyway. So stop cussing and learn to cope. Consider even the smallest annoyance a challenge, and feel proud of yourself for taking care of it cheerfully and efficiently.

6. Stop complaining.Before you start griping or whining about something, remind yourself of a very important reality: no one wants to hear it! Why would they? Avoid complaining about matters that you and the people with you have no control over. For all other complaints, try to offer a rational solution. Others will admire your common sense, wisdom and calm approach to the problem.

7. Use alternative words.English is a colorful language, but chronic cursers repeatedly use the same, unimaginative words that have been around for centuries. Take the time to develop your own list of alternatives to the nasty words you now use, relying on your own intelligence, a thesaurus, good books, and even some of the more clever TV shows. Select a few powerful or even funny words, and get in the habit of substituting them for swear words. For example, instead of B.S., choices range from lie, fabrication, nonsense and exaggeration to bunk, baloney, drivel, malarkey, hokum, hogwash and balderdash. They might not give you satisfaction at first, but they will eventually.

8. Make your point politely.Some substitute words can be just as offensive if your tone is abrasive or you insult someone. Think of the response to what you are about to say, and decide if you need to reword your statement to be more effective. For example, if someone suggests that you are doing something incorrectly, your response can range from "Who gives a flying f___?" to "I don't care," to "It really doesn't matter," or "I think my way is faster." The first reply is defensive, defiant, belligerent, and reflects a terrible attitude. The last reply is a justification that the other person might appreciate. Take the time to make your point in a mature and convincing manner.

9. Think of what you should have said.It is easy to blurt out a swear word at an inappropriate time, or to bark out a tactless or tasteless remark before you have a chance to consider the impact. Think of what you could have said. After you shout an expletive, simply say the tamer word you wished you had said. If you make a statement that you later realize was negative, confrontational or rude, think of how you could have phrased the statement. Over time, these exercises will train you to think and act differently.

10. Work at it.Breaking the swearing habit might prove to be no easier that losing weight, giving up cigarettes, or correcting any other habit. It takes practice, support from others, and a true desire to be a better person -- not only by controlling your language, but the emotions that prompt you to swear.

Here are a few exercises to condition yourself:
• Think in clean language, and switch negative thoughts into positive solutions.
• When you are on your way to a situation you know will test your temper and your tongue, plan ahead what you will say and how you will say it.
• Tell your family or friends what you are doing, and you will be more cautious around them.
• Determine when and why you swear the most, and develop your own tricks for changing your behavior.

Arrogant, more arrogant, most arrogant!

The biggest, yes biggest mistake is arrogance. You may be good, but if you work for someone you have to learn to compromise. To be part of a team that runs with as few kinks as possible, you have to put aside your ego. It doesn't matter what your career, if you can't take orders, you will never work happily.
Sheila Pinge*, an editor friend, fell prey to her pride. Brilliant as she is, she just could not seem to work with others. Maybe a month goes by without incident, but gradually small suggestions and helpful advice from her colleagues would bring on turmoil both at work and at home. After four years of working she finally recognised that her arrogance was the motivating factor for quitting every job she had. But amends can still be made and change appropriated.
They say to err is human and forgive divine, but sadly, this doesn't apply to the world of the working man or woman. To err is now a financial liability and forgiveness takes up valuable business time, and our fast paced, hypersonic world chooses not to waste any time on trivialities. So as you go about your pursuit of a meaningful career, make sure you don't commit these career mistakes.